Attaining Destruction
by Jinx
Summary: The ones we love are the ones we tend to destroy. HouseCameron


Attaining Destruction

Authors Note: This is my first house fanfiction, I will expand it into a proper story if people enjoy it.

Chapter 1 - Breathing 

Cameron opened the door. It was heavy, solid oak and dense…impenetrable. Like its owner. The key was cold against the heat of her palm. She could almost imagine it was burning her skin where it touched her. Ice could burn as badly as fire, she had learned that from House, as she had learned so many other lessons, lessons that she wished she could now be innocent from.

Taking a shallow breath Cameron stepped inside his dark apartment. She couldn't bring herself to turn on the harsh electric lights, preferring instead to let the dim glow from the streetlamp guide her through the rooms, as familiar to her now as her own.

Another shallow breath.

She made her way to the bedroom and gazed at the empty bed. Dark wood was in every room. Her own apartment was light, optimised for southern exposure and filled with creams and whites and pines. She felt a pang in her chest as she recognised she now felt more at home in House's dark world than in the one she use to be so happy in.

Happy. She had never thought she had been until it was replaced with this. Happiness, contentment, peace… Words describing feelings that no one who had them realise until they are replaced with something else. Pain, death, hunger…love and hate…because its only a mirror that separates the two and sometimes she can't tell which side she is looking through.

Breathe again. She reminded herself. Her chest moved slightly with an impossible struggle. Here without him, anywhere without him she only felt half alive. He had

renamed her, made her his own and now she couldn't even breathe without him near her.

This was what she had wanted in her innocence. It no longer was. Now it was what she needed and she had never wished more for the want of something she didn't have because the reality was better than she had wished and darker than a midwinter night.

Cameron dropped the key on the bed table liking the noise it made as it contacted the hard surface. The brief smile that touched her lips vanished a heartbeat later and she snatched the key back up and shoved it deeply into her pocket where it was safe. She couldn't lose it.

Smoothing her hand over the soft bedspread she could almost imagine them together in this bed. Like a haunting their bodies moved and moans echoed in her head. Her eyes drifted shut. Her body vibrated with the memory of him against her…inside her. Consuming her.

A large hand pressed itself against her throat, the pressure carefully constant but impossible to ignore. Her eyes opened and she felt his scent filling her lungs deeply.

"House." She breathed out, the relief of air shading her voice.

Cold lips against the back of her neck made her shiver and she resisted the urge to turn and face him. His other hand drifted around her body and rested under her un-tucked blouse. Trails of fire sparked in her belly contrasting painfully with the chill of his mouth.

She was burning for him.

He was cold against her.

It was too much.

She twisted in his arms and caught his eyes with her own.

His eyes frozen burned blue into hers

She hated him.

She loved him.

She thinks he can't see her. She is hiding in his own darkness and he is almost jealous of it.

Mine. The word is unbidden and the possession of it scares him.

He tried so hard. No matter what he cannot be blamed? He fought this, knowing who and what he is. The kind of man he is.

The only goodness in him is the part of him that kept her away. Even now he fights himself every time he reaches for her.

He fights and he fails.

Because she is everything he is not and despite himself he wants her. Want that he could have resisted. Only she was always there. Looking at him, her hazel eyes that constantly change colour showing every shade of emotion she felt for him.

She thinks he is blind, because he lives in darkness.

She came to show him the light and every now and then he thinks maybe, just maybe he feels a flicker of it touch him. But he quenches it. It can't be helped, it's in his nature.

He still wants her though and all he can do is pray to a god he doesn't believe in to protect her from the himself.

Because holding her the night becomes a little more bearable and he is selfish enough to cling to that. To cling to her.

House reached out his hand to touch the silver skin over which the moon reflects into her skin like a ghostly pallor. Even in darkness she managed to reflect light. His eyes close as he feels the glowing remembrance of summer and sunshine, of light and laughter that still hover over her like an aura.

I love her.


End file.
